Beware of the people who look fine in your life.
Authenticity to your true self over self delusion and curation
The other day I was talking to a new acquaintance, Jennifer Fox. Jennifer is a truth teller who has shared her powerful story numerous times. I am not going to retell it here. Just when I heard her, the universe said clearly, '“pay attention to that one.”
I did and reached out. When we got on the phone she said, '“what is this call about"?” It should have lasted 10 minutes and that would be the end of it. Our discussion and the time spent went far past that. The universe has other plans.
The headline for this piece is courtesy of Jennifer, so thanks for that. It fits perfectly.
Meta-physics used to be perceived as ‘woo-woo transcendental fluff’ for the tin hat and bleeding heart crowd. But today Meta-physics is more Quantum Physics and Quantum is some really mind-bending stuff. At the center of it all is energy.
If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency, and vibration
-Nikola Tesla
After my accident, my classically trained, board-certified neurologist suggested that I read up on stored traumatic energy and how to release it…return it to nature.
We talked in detail about a conversation I had with a Shaman on this very topic and how to use stones and moving water for energy transference and release. I learned that we easily hold onto negative emotions and thoughts that are energy. We hoard them. And, like sediment, they build up over time and gain weight. Like carrying around a backpack full of rocks.
This concept resonated deeply with a brain surgeon. He understood there is more to us than what we know and see-and believe to be true. Other respected science professionals such as Dr. David R. Hawkins, MD, PhD have documenting this for years.
Ordinary everyday consciousness leaves out more than it takes in.
-Alan Watts
If you have ever tried rucking (Michael Easter, who writes here on Substack is a big fan and got me into it), then you know what carrying around that energetic weight feels like.
Over time, it can be exhausting. You can’t ignore a 30 lb. Rucksack. You can’t pretend it’s not there. You experience it, then you take it off and put it down. Carrying a 30 lb. Rucksack every moment of every day of your life would cripple you. And, it would be insanity.
We all carry a lot of energetic weight because we hold onto a lot of negative energy via our thoughts and emotions. And, today, it seems like we generate a lot of individual and collective negativity. All that energy is out there, and it is sticky. Like tar.
We are supposed to experience the emotion, maybe even observe it or dissect it, if we are that awake, but then let it go.
The energy isn’t ours to hang onto. And, when we do, it spoils. Like a long forgotten left-over in the back of the fridge that has gone bad. The rank stench of decaying whatever it once was assaulting your nose the moment you open the door.
The problem is, with the refrigerator door closed, you don’t know anything has gone bad inside. Everything looks fine on the outside. Just like everything looks fine on the endless stream of social media posts you doom scroll in the evening. Perfect people, perfect lives, not a care in the world. Wealthy, healthy and…thriving. Life is fine.
Fine. Sure. The door is closed. Crack it open and let’s get a whiff. Maybe not so fine.
You know there is a school of thought that people who post highly curated content don’t do it to make themselves feel better, but to make others feel worse?
But why? Simple perhaps. Redirection? If I look and act fine, I am fine. Keep the door closed.
I tried to look and act the part for years. The script, the costume. Tech entrepreneur business guy. On the surface, everything looked good. I even got to the point where I convinced the person I saw looking back in the mirror that the character I was playing was me.
When you keep the door closed on something that doesn’t belong and ignore the wound caused by abandoning your true essence, things spoil. It’s all good and fine until the refrigerator door is opened, even a crack, and the smell comes rolling out, invading your senses and lingering in the air. Rot cannot be ignored.
When you smell this, you don’t close the door, vowing to NEVER AGAIN open the fridge. Nor do you ignore the vile oder assaulting you as you reaching past it for the pickles. You pull the offending item out and you throw it away. Then, you reach for the pickles.
This is how things are today. We are terrified to tell the truth for fear of being judged or seen as weak. Or worse, being judged for being weak. You worry they will gossip about you. They will talk behind your back about how sad it is to see you struggling with something. After all, he’s fucked up. We, on the other hand are perfectly fine.
I smell some rotten shit in that fridge.
Who is judging you? Someone in your life who looks fine? Who acts fine, but surely isn’t fine.
Beware of the people in your life who look perfectly fine.
They are hoarding their left overs and things have gone seriously sour in the meat drawer. Keep the door closed. No one will notice.
Don’t hate them. Don’t ignore the person who looks fine. Open up. Invite them to do the same. Be a friend. Give them a chance to crack the fridge door open and smell what’s in there.
If we can’t tell ourselves the truth, we have a problem. And man, our western society today, has a problem. Our energy and focus, and our life is spent keeping up a charade. What an epic waste. Fake it till you make it? Spare me. More like fake it till you implode or you get sick. Been there, done that. That’s how it is folks.
By the way, this has NOTHING to do with visualization, as you may be thinking.
‘Visualize the outcome you seek, live like it is there already.’ Great, yes. Goals. Work towards them. See what you want. I am talking about the real, hard shit, not the aspirational yet to be manifested stuff.
Not ‘I want to be a writer.’ but instead ‘I have imposter syndrome and I feel I am wasting my life, which I hate, but I am scared shitless of being found out, so here I stay."
Ok great. Imposter syndrome. We can work with that. Why? Let’s dive in. Root cause analysis. Go deeper. To the dark corners you want to ignore and where it is all stacked away.
Therapy? Good idea. But, how about talking about this to your spouse? To your friends? How about just opening up and finding the truth and letting that out. The truth. We are so profoundly and utterly scared of the truth that we are not even willing to acknowledge it. We’d rather lie and live a charade.
If your significant other or your friends don’t want to hear it or are not fundamentally willing to help you, you are in the wrong relationship and hang out with the wrong people. They are part of the rot.
They say the truth can set you free. 100%. Being authentically you is the greatest gift you can give yourself. Being perfectly broken is perfectly ok. Like a Kintsugi bowl.
Don’t hide it. Your imperfections are what make you….well, you. And you are 1 of 1. A masterpiece of imperfections.
Did you know the greatest works of art, the masterpieces, are not the best technical renderings? Marinate on that.
If you are surrounded by authentically imperfect people who embrace this reality and embrace you for the same, then you are home.