Forget the U-Turn

Landing in a Level 1 Trauma center changed everything. And that is beautiful.

It's a long, long road back from nowhere
We fight like hell sometimes, other days we don't care
It's a long, long road back from nowhere
A change is gonna come, I can feel it in the wind today

—Bo Bice

People over the past few days have thoughtfully said to me, “I know you Steve, you will be back!”

Well, what if I don’t want to go back?

It’s been one week since I landed in a Level 1 Trauma hospital after a devastating hit and run accident that occurred while I was on a cycling training ride.

The outpouring of support from many has been overwhelming. Still, the majority of people I’ve run into the past few days don’t care. And that is PERFECTLY okay. I mean, after all, why should they? What happened didn’t impact their life. What happened to me shouldn’t really matter to them. Everyone has their own life to live. And, that’s the core of this message.

The accident occurred. It is in the past. It can’t be changed, nor can what’s happened since then. Their lives continued on without incident. Any thoughts on me or what happened are little more than a passing billboard with an unremarkable ad that quickly fades into the distance.

Mine has changed. And oh man, am I grateful.

Here is the thing. Conventional wisdom says that when something catastrophic happens, you work to retrace your steps and try to get back to where you were before what happened happened.

But what is the point of that? Turning around and retracing my steps, doing lots of hard work only to get back to where I started? Why? No thank you.

Think about it. I put in a crapload of hard work, training, nutrition, sleep, weights and gym work, sleep, schedule management, taking bikes on trips to stay on top of a training plan, more gym work on vacation, and so on. The work was put in anticipating a path and set of outcomes for this year that are no longer anywhere near current reality I reside within.

Why go back to where I started?

This makes absolutely no sense to me. When describing this to a friend this morning, he said “well, don’t you want to get back to your life? To some degree of normalcy?”

Dude, I broke my neck, my back, 8 ribs, a collar bone and had a pretty sizable concussion. Still, I am not dead, and I am fortunate enough to have avoided any form of paralysis or cognitive impairment.

I am going to have to work hard to do anything. Go backwards, sideways or forward. So why the hell would I retrace my steps?

If something dramatic happens in your life, sure you can view it as a catastrophe. That’s our default setting after all.

Me, I am a victim of a violent crime.

It’s June and all the major plans for the rest of 2024 have changed. I am in some degree of pain all the time right now. Poor me. I give up. Black clouds follow me. I’m tired of this shit. I’m pissed off. What did I do to deserve this? I give up. (the past couple of years have been rough, like ‘Professional Grade’ rough). It’s easy to go down this pitiful road. Or you can choose not to.

Perhaps you can view whatever has or is happening to you as an opportunity. This is my vantage point from where I stand.

Everything on the trajectory I was on before the incident has been taken off the table. Why try to find my way back to that path when I’m no longer on it? As the lead coaches on my team CINCH, Tom Danielson says, “There is nothing good back there”.

He would know because he has gone through his own version of this and has chosen the same path and approach. Seems to be working out for him.

So, if everything has changed, pick a new direction. Never go backwards. Never try to reclaim your life before whatever happened. That is a waste and not what the Universe wants you to do.

Instead, blaze a new trail.

Yeah, I will get back on my bike as soon as I am medically cleared. Yeah, I will race again. Already reached out to some race organizers. I am also + 6 days from the hospital and already training, albeit in very small and responsible ways.

Moving rather than being sedentary. Smiling. Meditating. 180 grams of protein a day. Breathing exercises in this reverse V02 thing the hospital gave me. 5,000 steps a day. At least 4 sets of stairs a day. Dressing myself. Showering each day. Getting out.

I am writing this from my favorite coffee shop, Indie Coffee Roasters on the North End. Road rash scabs on my knees, elbows, hands, wrist, forehead, a sling to warn people off a broken collarbone, but I think the Aspen neck brace itself is pretty self explanatory.

You want to know the good news? Nobody seems to care. To me, that is awesome.

These small steps might seem trivial but intention requires consistency and persistence and starts with small stuff.

Radically changing your life is nothing but a series of small steps after something big happens. Doesn’t matter if you instigate it or the Universe does.

My life and the people in it are already changing. Today, I am genuinely authentic with who I am-and I am quite ok with it. You don’t like it, then you are part of the Stuff I don’t need. No harm no foul. Just know I won’t give it a second thought. What I want is only the Gear in require. And, the Gear are the people, places, things, ideas and energy that are of higher frequency, purpose and value.

This wasn’t a wake up and "‘turn over a new leaf’ thing. Getting hit just pushed me into a new orbit. Simple as that. What was isn’t any longer. I can’t go back.

I don’t get it. This doesn’t make any sense. Wow, this makes perfect sense.

For most people none of this will resonate and that is totally cool. It means you are comfortable with your path, whatever that is and that is how it should be. I appreciate your support in reading my work, as average as it is. I am working hard to train and improve here as well.

I wrote this article only for two people. Me and you. If you don’t want to go back, don’t. Simply choose a new direction and set off bravely. It will work out wonderfully. I promise.