The Invisible Epidemic
More and more people are becoming invisible and the evidence is everywhere
I have been curious about some recent and seemingly seismic shifts in our workplaces, communities and even society at large. That, along with some observations are purpose of the words that follow. There is a behavioral evolution at hand and it isn’t necessarily good. It is my hope and goal that I can inspire and enable some positive changes.
Even if it just you. One person. That’s enough, if you take some action, that is.
My curiosity has bordered on concern through witnessing these patterns in numerous workplaces. The behaviors and archetypes outlined are manifesting more frequently in passive-aggressive behaviors, poor communication skills, avoidance of any form of conflict (sometimes professional but difficult discussions are required to solve problems and conflict), degraded collaboration and devolving workplace cultures.
I am guessing that you recognize many of these symptoms yourself and can probably even add to this list.
You see, I have found myself squarely in each of the categories (which I call ‘states of being’) outlined in this piece. I know from deeply painful and personal experiences how some of the lower energy states can trap, eat away and even shape your reality. I know first hand, once you are stuck in any one of them how deep the hole can be. Each of these states of being limit growth, well-being and ultimately the value you provide to others, and yourself.
My journey began with becoming untethered, growing invisible through a business and career crisis a few years back. It was like getting napalmed. This untethering took years, as it always does and culminated with the napalm explosion. And, I never really saw it coming even though all the warning signs were there.
The confusion, frustration, and fear of becoming untethered led to becoming a loud victim. Growing pissed off at the world and especially the those who I felt conveniently used me when times were good. Loud means evident. On display.
(News flash, I let them. So not their fault. They saw an opportunity and took it for purely self-gain. I just didn’t want to see the truth. As you will see, we create our own realities that are often different from what is).
I cover a lot here, so if you are looking for some snackable content, this isn’t it.
We have all felt the pain of work day commuter traffic. An anxiety riddled requirement for many that is less drive and more defensive warfare. The palpable anger, frustration, rage or pain old indifference emanating from those tightly packed around us traveling at speeds ranging from 40 to 100 often using lane markers as a mere suggestion. You know exactly what I am talking about if you’ve felt or experienced it.
We more and more frequently encounter a range of experiences throughout our day with the same common threads from inconsideration to flat out rudeness.
But why is this?
Should we indict social media or a perhaps blame it on a more polarized society as the underlying root cause for these behaviors? Social media is surely fuel for the dry tinder but not the sole culprit.
A polarized society is the inevitable result. An outcome rather than a contributor. When we grow selfish, we stop caring about others. We stop trying to understand. It’s we versus them. Likely, there is no single root cause to these behavioral changes but there is surely something important we are overlooking.
Consider the increasing number of Invisible people.
Huh? Invisible?
Mind you, I have no proof of this other than direct experience and my own research, which I have done more than a little of. For years, I thought this was happening to just me. Turns out it is everywhere.
The trend is quite subtle actually, which is what makes it so insidious. Worse, we’ve become accustomed to these new symptomatic behaviors as ‘normal’. It is anything but.
Before you read on, here is my disclaimer. You may not like or agree with the below. I am not a traditional expert. I have no Ph.D. in quantum mechanics or neuroscience, nor sociology. Regardless, I hope this observation makes you think and question what you ‘believe’ to be true.
Here in America at least, this growing epidemic of invisibility may be driven by a couple different archetypes emerging and the energy and related perceptions these individuals attract and radiate. And, as they gain critical mass, they amplify this lower energy as a group. And that energy is sticky.
Herein lies the problem. Critical mass. Traditional science terms this lower energy and perception as ‘mob hysteria’.
Exhibit A: January 6th.
Let’s first put a definition of what I mean by ‘invisible’ in place. Becoming invisible is when a person exhibits certain chronic behaviors that do not benefit their personal well being and perceive themselves to be unimportant, irrelevant, without purpose and/or and overlooked by others. They see themselves as invisible. Most importantly, it is a self-imposed state of being.
The first of the Invisible are the Victims.
The world happens TO those who identify themselves as victims. Particularly Loud Victims.
An important distinction. You can be the victim of some event. It happened. If you deal with it, you can move past it. You will never forget it but it doesn’t define who you are long term.
On one hand, you may be Steve, the victim of a hit and run that nearly killed him but it also reshaped him and made him stronger, physically, mentally and emotionally. This Steve was a victim of crime but doesn’t act like or define himself as such. If anything, it is the opposite.
Side note: they never found the driver who put me into a Level 1 Trauma Center ICU and changed my life forever. But I forgave that person and it was liberating. I am happy to tell my story of redemption and recovery but never the one of helpless victim. We all have some control over what happens next.
Exhibit B: Below left is day one of recovery in the ICU, broken back, neck, TBI and a bunch of other broken bones and soft tissue damage. Lower right is three months later prior to a 100k ride event I helped lead.
Or, you may be Loud Victim Steve. Never getting past it. Believing in chronic pain and physical limitations due to the accident. You are bitter and angry. This Steve seeks sympathy at every turn. He will never actually recover, forever stuck in the mire of self pity and belief of lack and limitation. Victim Steve believes he has no control over what happens to him.
Interestingly, it seems that the worse the victim’s tragic event, the greater the likelihood the person recovers or slides into quiet victim status. In contrast, the severity of events that Loud Victims experience, seems to happen mostly in their own heads.
Loud Victims will recount how their trials and tribulations to gain attention and sympathy. Something has happened to them and this story is on an endless whoa-is-me loop to whomever will listen. They seek attention through this circumstance.
Loud Victims believe these actions are all that keep them from being invisible.
Often, Loud Victims are offended when their victimhood isn’t ‘properly’ acknowledged. Loud Victims often take umbrage or offense in even normal conversations, often thinking “this person has NO idea what I’ve been through.” And, it’s true, they probably don’t. But then again, Loud Victims can’t read the room.
Quiet Victims on the other hand are people who have endured real trauma and need real help. Quiet Victims don’t advertise it. They often lock the pain away, where it festers and gets worse over time. Quiet Victims want and need real help. They deserve it. They have earned our help, support, empathy but not our pity. Quiet Victims don’t like the label Victim, I believe. It isn’t how they define who they are. What happened to them, yes, but it is not part of their identity.
Having the experience of being a victim is perfectly understandable and acceptable, if it is justified. Just don’t use the label define you as a person.
Also, victims, both loud and quiet vibrate at low frequencies of energy as a whole.
The second group are the Untethered.
A larger and larger portion of our society feels they have no real purpose or meaning. Think about this. What if you were 100% convinced that there is no reason for you to be alive. No purpose whatsoever that you have for being on this Earth. There is no reason for anything new or good to come to you tomorrow. There is no hope. No chance of change. You are…a ghost.
There is actual solid research and science behind this growing trend, which has recently been labeled as ‘existential nihilism’.
Several recent surveys of males between the ages of 18-29 show a startling trend with an overwhelming majority indicating they have little to no belief their lives have ANY meaning or purpose.
When this happens, the natural result is to disconnect into an existence of self-centeredness in which relationships are often superficial and transactional and the end justifies the means of their actions.
Or worse, they seek legitimacy of their perception of the world and are radicalized. Oddly, false victimhood is often the doorway for radicalization. Being ‘stolen from’ or ‘disenfranchised’ is a common recruiting tool. Loud Victims often stem from becoming Untethered.
No matter what, perception is reality.
The Untethered come in many shapes and sizes. On one extreme, the end justifies the means. Worth and meaning comes through prestige or at least curated prestige and outward trappings, or better, the perception of those trappings by others. We see these posts on social all the time. For this group, value is ascribed by the perception of others.
Look at the chart below. Self-centered behavior and even narcissism are some untethered tendencies. So is addiction.
For the Untethered which have lost sight of their true, authentic selves they gravitate towards self-pity or even loathing. The residue of victimhood can be found here as well. They go through the motions and read from a life script they don’t identify with but have convinced themselves they can’t do a damn thing about it. It is what it is.
This group of Untethered feel like they have lost any form of control over the arc or direction of their life. They recognize with some degree of terror, they are inexorably stuck in their current circumstance.
In either case, the descent through ‘untethered-ness’ happens over time. Slowly and often imperceptibly.
Hopelessness, selfishness and even moral ambiguity are common byproducts of being Untethered.
The Untethered can often vibrate at energy frequencies which are the same or even lower than that of Victims. Sometimes Loud Victimhood and Untethered-ness intertwine, which can take that person straight to the bottom.
Take a look at the below chart to get a sense of these energetic layers, which I call ‘thermoclines’. Thermoclines are layers of water that grow denser as they get deeper. Thermoclines create separation and barriers.
I developed this chart with the helpful input of a handful of experienced experts.
Pressure grows, as does darkness, the deeper you go. Climbing out of these dark, low energy states is nearly impossible solo. Trust me, I know.
The third group, Passengers, live on Auto-Pilot.
This isn’t meant to be disparaging in any sense. None of what’s going on around them registers beyond what is seen through the traditional lens, which for most, is perfectly fine. They are passengers. Along for the ride. And, for many it’s a fine ride.
Passengers are normally pretty well adjusted and happy. They have friends, see value in life and appreciate beauty when it’s framed properly. They work to improve themselves and spend time enjoying the ones they love. They see what’s visible to them. What registers on the surface. Traditional cause and effect.
They might see someone as either sad or rude but it would never dawn on them to look deeper. This group sits in the middle of the above chart. They have anxious moments or can grow melancholy from time to time. They hear something on TV and grow curious, Googling it to find the answer. They remain in neutral buoyancy, if you will, bobbing up and down, but generally remaining in place for the duration.
And finally, there is one other group. These are the disruptors. The outliers. They are often vilified as crazy ones. They see the world differently, they think differently because they quite literally, they are different.
In 1997, Apple created an ad that is as much a poem as ad copy. If this piece resonates with you, and particularly ‘Beacons & Guides’, then please watch it.
Here is the link (you can click on the image as well)
Beacons & Guides.
This is a small but growing number of people who see and sense beyond what beyond what’s on the surface. Empathic maybe. They often embrace the non-traditional. Eastern medicine is as or more valid than western. They meditate in serious and meaningful ways. They think about what consciousness really is and where it comes from. They often read philosophy on occasion. They are intensely spiritual but not religious. What’s on the surface, as exactly that. They are in the truest sense, awake.
They tend to fall (I believe) mostly in the upper middle of the chart I’ve included. Many of them are survivors of some form of personal trauma, some terrible catastrophe that has befallen them or they’ve had some tremendous shift in their reality that causes them to question everything.
As a result, they’ve tapped into higher frequency energies which keep them moving up. Like attracts like energy. Physical manifestations follow.
And, this last group has a very important role to play as either a beacon or a guide for the groups. Or at least this is the message I’ve been given. If you are interested why I believe this or where the instruction originated, read this.
So back to where we started. The epidemic of invisibility. We all need to be seen, valued and heard. Each of us has value and we are all inter-connected. We all need to have meaningful connections with others. We all need to have purpose. We all have the right to be our true and authentic selves. None of us should feel forced to spend a life reading from a script that isn’t ours.
If you feel you fall in this last group or are close to it (please keep going), then share your message. Ask a victim not what befell them, but what strength they gained from it and how are they putting it to use?
Inspire someone untethered to try something new, something that scares them a little bit, and support them in this. I personally know an amazing Beacon. I met her a few years back at Gravel Worlds. We did a pre-race training ride together and she radiated high frequency energy.
Exhibit D: Marley Blonsky, co-founder of All Bodies on Bikes. Marley also happens to be one of the handful of change agents gracing this month’s cover of Outside Magazine
Beacons send a repetitive message out. Head this way. Don’t be afraid. Get up. Don’t allow yourself to be judged. You have value. Anything you set your mind to is possible.
If that’s your jam, be a Beacon. Guides lead others, to find inspiration. To be authentic and locate one’s true self. Guides navigate what’s unknown and often unseen to those who choose to follow them. If you are a Guide, be a Guide.
Exhibit E: Notable Guide examples include: That Nich Hanh, Bruce Lee, Dr. Wayne Dyer
Which ever you are, you will know. They can teach others how to shed the burden of extreme negativity that cloaks them and weighs them down, dragging them down to the energetic bottom, thermocline after thermocline. Like a breached ship full of water heading towards the bottom, cracking apart as it goes succumbs to the dark pressure of the deep.
We are not the summation of the things we own nor the roles or station we have in life. We are not the label others give us. None of us is less or more important than another.
Instead, we are exactly who we practice being.